Separating the Inseparable

The boys have been literally inseparable since birth. I'm not so sure that it has anything to do with choice or preference, but really simply logistics. They have not spent a night apart from each other. They've been in the same daycare (i.e. home), the same Kindermusik classes, the same swimming lessons, the same birthday parties, the same playdates, the same therapies, and the same classroom. I never want to do anything for one and not the other...so they have basically always been together.

There are really only two standard exceptions. The first is when Mommy wants to shop...in which case I prefer to 'divide and conquer' the task with one while the other stays home with Dad (usually Alex chooses Daddy and Tanner is ready to be the little girl I'll never have and shop with me!). The other is speech therapy, where they work one-on-one with a therapist in separate rooms. It's so funny because 45 minutes later they come out of the therapy session and the first thing they ask is 'Where is Tanner/Alex?'.

We decided that this school year we would attempt to draw out more of their individual personalities, likes, dislikes, needs and strengths by putting them in different class rooms. Honestly, I think the schools wanted to do it just to help them keep them separate and easier to chart. The guys have such similar needs and their progress is eerily parallel to each other. Last year, their teacher could only tell them apart by their differing shoes!

However, Tanner tends to be a little more dominant and speak for Alex, so I really thought that Alex would benefit from mixing things up. Of course, this deviation from the norm was met with some disdain, but I think they are adjusting well. I can already see a difference in Alex at home. First, he's much quicker to engage play with Tanner (I'm guessing because he's getting a bit of a break). Also, he's taking more of a lead by asking the questions or suggesting the next activity.

It's only been a few days, so it will be interesting to see how things evolve over the school year. I'm not sold on the idea of them being apart, primarily because my efforts are now split between two classes, two teachers, two different sets of homework, and two different weekly themes. It's also hard to learn about their day at school. When they were in the same class, they could both report bits and pieces and feed off each other a bit to tell me things. Now, without that shared experience, it's very hard to get any account of their day from them individually. The jury is out...but of course if it ends up better for them in the long run...I'll just learn to adjust to my new challenges.