Like Father, Like Son

It's not exactly a secret that Jim is a golf fanatic. It's also not exactly a secret that I don't like the game, and that I am not overly fond of the time it takes away from other activities. However, I can't exactly fight passion for the hobby - whether originating from my husband, co-workers, brothers/brother-in-law...basically the world around me. So, I won't go so far as to say that I've become tolerant (because I still like to gripe) - let's just say it is a not-so-readily accepted drudgery of life.

After watching Daddy golf in the backyard for the past 4 1/2 years, my cute little buddies are adopting an interest in golf. Up until now, it's been kinda cute. Jim would have his club out and show the boys how to take a swing or two. In fact, this has been going on for several years (the 1st picture here was taken Sept 2005, the 2nd May 2006). However, the past 2 weeks, the boys (Tanner leads...Alex figures out Tanner is missing and follows) are independently going out to the garage, grabbing clubs, tee and ball and heading out on their own. Like little pros, they put the tee in the ground, put the ball on the tee, hold the club with a reasonably accurate grip and then swing (the swing needs a LOT of work).

This is fine and cute and picture-worthy...and makes Daddy totally proud and happy. Great - I get that! Now, here's the reality check - the evidence that an interest of golf is moving toward infatuation. Tanner initated one of his impromptu, unauthorized, independent golf practices Saturday AM. No shoes, underwear and PJ top was the attire (in the front yard of course)! So, I haul him in, get him dressed and tell him he can play for a few minutes and then we need to go to Costco.

Up until yesterday, a trip to Costco was always met with cheers. Especially for TanMan (my little shopping buddy). Imagine my shock and frustration when Jimmy's little mini-me(s) replied (whining) to my urging that it was time to go "No, no, no! I need to practice my golfing!". I replied - 'First Costco, then more golfing'. This should have been easy-breezy...hop in the van...no issues. Wrong. More protests, crying while getting into the van and on the way down the street. I thought to myself - you've got to be kidding me!. Seriously - God wouldn't do this to me. I can handle a lot, but living with 3 golf addicts I think is penance deserving of a person much more evil than I. Of course, where is Jim during all of this? Do you even need to ask at this point in my rant?

So - the term 'golf widow' was reasonably applicable prior to yesterday's meltdown. But if we continue at this rate - I'll be the posterchild for the term in the decades ahead. Since I don't have a daughter...I guess I'll just have to hope that a sister or niece move my way to keep me company Spring-Fall. I think I may have found a reason to be thankful for Michigan winters - I'll have the undivided attention back of all the men in my life! Snow and golfing just don't mix - luckily ;)

I Like Corn!

So this blogging is a funny thing...I'm compelled to publish parenting mishaps. In what other forum to you display your downfalls? When I named it 'Another day, another laugh', I guess I was setting the tone for that however. Once again this morning (at 6:45am), I turned my head for 2 minutes (meaning I was helping Tanner in the bathroom) and a hungry Alex helped himself to our fridge - this time to raw corn on the cob!

Let's set the record straight - I feed my kids. They should not act as insanely hungry as they do - and those of you reading this that are local can attest to their constant want of food. They get 3 meals each day, and countless snacks. They are bottomless pits - and it's not just for sweets. I knew this of teenage boys -- but 2, 3 and 4 year old boys? It's somewhat ironic, because we had to tube feed and then force feed them through their first few months of life. My how the tables have turned!

Belly Laughs and Scary Monsters

I love the deep belly laugh, and hadn't really noticed that my guys had outgrown it a bit - at least until this evening. Alex was letting loose the most infectious, deep, gurgly belly laughs I've heard from him probably since he was a baby. And the best part was - it was all born from imagination and silly play - something that does not always come naturally to my little guys.

Alex decided he was a scary monster and would roar at Jim. Jim would return a shocked look, act scared and Alex would absolutely loose it. I wish I had recorded the laugh - as the memory of it will have me smiling for days. The eye contact, the smiles, the initiation, the imagination, the joint attention - it was awesome. When he tired of the interaction with Jim, he sought out Trooper who spun around and reacted hilariously - further exagerrating Alex's belly laughs.

So what prompted this outburst of silly play? Pure cruelty - Alex initially was attempting to terrorize Tanner! Tanner has been scared to death of monsters, villains, sharks, the big bad wolf...any dark or scary character in all movies/books for the past week or so. He has been waking up at night with bad dreams and refusing to watch many movies. All kids go through these phases (I know). I'm just shocked that sweet Alex was perceptive enough to pick up on it and find pure joy in Tanner's anxiety! Sounds like brotherly love to me!

Who says that scary monsters and belly laughs can't go hand-in-hand? Alex certainly thinks they do! I see this game playing itself out repeatedly over the next few days...happy Alex...poor TanMan.

Separating the Inseparable

The boys have been literally inseparable since birth. I'm not so sure that it has anything to do with choice or preference, but really simply logistics. They have not spent a night apart from each other. They've been in the same daycare (i.e. home), the same Kindermusik classes, the same swimming lessons, the same birthday parties, the same playdates, the same therapies, and the same classroom. I never want to do anything for one and not the other...so they have basically always been together.

There are really only two standard exceptions. The first is when Mommy wants to shop...in which case I prefer to 'divide and conquer' the task with one while the other stays home with Dad (usually Alex chooses Daddy and Tanner is ready to be the little girl I'll never have and shop with me!). The other is speech therapy, where they work one-on-one with a therapist in separate rooms. It's so funny because 45 minutes later they come out of the therapy session and the first thing they ask is 'Where is Tanner/Alex?'.

We decided that this school year we would attempt to draw out more of their individual personalities, likes, dislikes, needs and strengths by putting them in different class rooms. Honestly, I think the schools wanted to do it just to help them keep them separate and easier to chart. The guys have such similar needs and their progress is eerily parallel to each other. Last year, their teacher could only tell them apart by their differing shoes!

However, Tanner tends to be a little more dominant and speak for Alex, so I really thought that Alex would benefit from mixing things up. Of course, this deviation from the norm was met with some disdain, but I think they are adjusting well. I can already see a difference in Alex at home. First, he's much quicker to engage play with Tanner (I'm guessing because he's getting a bit of a break). Also, he's taking more of a lead by asking the questions or suggesting the next activity.

It's only been a few days, so it will be interesting to see how things evolve over the school year. I'm not sold on the idea of them being apart, primarily because my efforts are now split between two classes, two teachers, two different sets of homework, and two different weekly themes. It's also hard to learn about their day at school. When they were in the same class, they could both report bits and pieces and feed off each other a bit to tell me things. Now, without that shared experience, it's very hard to get any account of their day from them individually. The jury is out...but of course if it ends up better for them in the long run...I'll just learn to adjust to my new challenges.

My Tan-man

Well...Jim, Brian and Christy...you have a new ally in your mocking of me. You've been shaking your head at me for a couple years now because I still refer to the guys as 'my babies'. The term 'little men' or 'little guys' I thought was a big step forward for me over the past few months.

To my complete shock and disappointment, Tanner has joined your band wagon. I'll refer to him as Baby Tanner from time to time, to which he would respond he was a big boy. Fine - I get it. I can deal with that. However, twice over the past week he's corrected me over much lesser offenses. On the way out of the grocery store, and again this AM over breakfast, I was informed that his name is Tanner, not Tan-man! Then, to add insult to injury, when I said something about him being my little guy he quickly barked 'I'm your big boy guy, not your little guy!'. I'm beginning to think that this talking thing is totally overrated. I think I liked it better when he didn't have an opinion to be voiced!

Here's the deal Tanner - I'll agree to drop the 'baby' reference from my vocabulary, and will even attempt to leave 'little' behind as well. As for Tan-man....that isn't going anywhere. Because Mommy says so.

Back to School!

It was back to school in the Wooden house this week. The boys moved from a center based program at Ken-O-Sha, which serves the counties special needs children with the most acute needs, on to Ada Elementary. At Ada they are in a special education preschool classroom. It's a good sign - moving to a less restrictive environment with fewer supports!

Tanner was very excited about going to his new school, and talked about it all Tuesday morning before the bus picked them up at 12:45pm. However, every ounce of Tanner's excitement translated to more anxiety for Alex who would retort/whine 'No new school, just old school!'.

What a transition this year! Old school (where they have been for 2.5 years...basically their entire memory) to a new school. Old friends to new kids. AM school to PM school. Afternoon naps to no afternoon naps. Needless to say, the first few days were pretty ugly. Lots of crying and discontent.

By Friday however, the new routine was engrained, and Alex (my more sensitive little guy) was on board with the program. He woke up talking about his new friends and ready to go to school. Check out this pic - pj shirt, boxer briefs, socks, sandals and backpack. It's 8am - and school is not until 12:30pm! I was happily informed by the little dudes that they were waiting for the bus. I'm taking it as a good sign that they like the new school!

Day at a Glance

I'm going to bed earlier and earlier these days. I think I'm living child rearing years in reverse. When they were young, I thought it was so easy and stayed up into the wee hours of the morning. All my mom friends were exhausted and didn't know where I got the energy. Now, they are four - and I'm more tired than ever at the end of a day! So, reflecting on this last night when the boys and I all hopped into our bed to go to sleep together (another lonely evening for Jim), I ran through the day in my head which looked like this:

• 6:30am - Alex wakes up
• 7am - Tanner wakes up
• 9am - Big hot bkfst family style
• 9:30am - Off to the park (camera in hand)
• 10:45am - Return from park - off to Costco (wide open warehouse space - so fun with the monsters)
• 12pm - Lunch
• 1pm - Art time (egg container caterpillars - and let me just say this might be the most energy gobbling activity of the day - have you dared paint, clue, scissors, and other art supplies with two active 4 year olds lately?)
• 1:30pm - Roller skating in the driveway
• 2:00pm - Sandbox/Swingset/trampoline
• 2:40pm - Water tag with hose (I just watched though - have fun dad and boys!)
• 3:00pm - Bike ride along the river
• 3:30pm - Playing in the fountains with kids at river park
• 5pm - PEACE! Late nap on mom for 1 hour (happily crushed with 80 lbs of tuckered out boys sprawled all over me and remote in hand)
• 6pm - Back outside - this time to play with the neighbors
• 6:30pm - Dinner (Jim grilled! Yumm!)
• 7pm - Ice cream cones
• 7:15pm - Back to park again/game of follow-the-leader/chase with mom and park full of kids (If anyone is counting - that is 3 visits to a park in 1 day!)
• 8pm - Baths
• 8:30pm - Cuddle time with mom on couch with PJs/watch Veggie Tales
• 9:15pm - We all go to bed

From time to time someone will ask if I work out...I will respond no...and then a daring person may attempt to encourage me to do so for my health. While I've historically just nodded and felt bad, I think the next person that tries that lecture is going to be required to shadow Jim and I for a Saturday in an effort to wipe the 'I'm better than you' smirk off their face!