Daily Report

As soon as we walk through the door, the boys self-report how their days went.  They are just gushing to tell us what they did wrong, which is a little bizarre.  I think they just want it off their conscience.  Tonight:

Alex:  I didn't lose any tokens!!!

Tanner:  I lost 3 tickets for being loud.  Then, I lost 3 tickets for shaking my butt in the classroom.

Had to smile...I mean...I get the whole Friday butt shaking feeling!  Bust a move...feel the joy...time to start the weekend!  I'll have to teach him to go to the bathroom for such celebrations I guess :)  Impulse control, restraint, appropriateness...all things yet to master my little Travolta :)

Goodbye Bieber Hair, Welcome Back Clean Cut

Long hair out...short hair back in...thank God :)  It was a shaggy few months, but we're back on track  ;)

Boys First Sleepover In Progress!

Ok - so we didn't make it to the game...but we are in the midst of our first sleepover (Aidan is spending the night at our house).  Living in toilet seat up hell = a whole heck of a lot of love too...even if we're not at the football game :)

How much do I love them????

My football fans want to go to an FHC football game.  Tomorrow is the last home game.  It's been so cold and rainy, so the idea isn't exactly enticing.  Certainly cheaper than a Lions game, but brrrrr!  If my cold butt is sitting in bleacher tomorrow night watching football...you'll know just how much I love them :)

Calling in Life: Vegetarian Veterinarian

Alex announced to Ashley today that he doesn't want to eat meat anymore because it's dead animals.  Bizarre, but ok, I'll bite.  (pardon the pun)

Mom:  So I hear you don't want to eat meat anymore...why?
Alex:  Because meat is dead animals and I don't want to eat them, I want to heal them.

Wow - rather socially in tune this little man is!  Frankly, I thought it was just an excuse not to eat the chicken fingers I made.  But, he does have a really big heart when it comes to animals so I'm not sure how to argue this one.  For all the times I've dreamed about what Alex might become in his adult life, a vegetarian veterinarian had never crossed my mind :)   Hmmm...Michigan State does have a vet school I guess!

Cousins!

4 little monkeys climbing in a tree :)  Leelanau State Park October 2011

A House Divided

 

They may be all smiles here, but someone is going to be pretty bummed tomorrow afternoon because not both teams can win  :( 

Please State win...it would make Mr. Alex's weekend...and Tanner will get over the disappointment more quickly :)

Harry Potter - Love It!

I started reading the boys the Harry Potter series this summer.  They love it...and I might love it even more :)  We're only on the second book...which is also cool.  It's awesome to know our nightly tradition of snuggling in Mommy's bed with Potter will continue for at least another year I'm guessing! 

Tanner remembers every detail and spoils so many surprises with his deductive reasoning.  He's very serious about it.  He's also going to be Harry Potter for Halloween.

Alex is LISTENING AND COMPREHENDING...so cool!  The language and verbiage is a little complex but he's surprisingly keeping up!  The first half of the first book he didn't want to listen, so I let him read Garfield in bed next to us.  Mr. Multi-tasker got hooked though halfway through however and now listens intently without other distractions.

When we finish the book, we watch the movie.  We're all very excited for the next movie.  I hear they get a little dark as the series continues, but maybe having read the book already the movies won't seem so scary (at least that is what I am hoping).

So we're reading the series of books passed down from Aunt Jenny/Uncle Ricky, and the fellas are already talking to Emily and Adam (their cousins) about passing them their way next.  So fun to pass things like this through the family  :)

INTERCEPTION!!!!!!!!

Proud parenting moment on Sunday.  We were all watching the exciting Lions game.  Cowboys had the ball so Jim and I scurried to change over laundry.  All of the sudden the boys start SCREAMING "Interception!  Interception! Interception!  Mom...Dad...come quick!"

They love football, watch with enthusiasm, and now make sure we don't miss the big plays.  Clearly, we're doing something right on this whole parenting front (well...you might need to ignore data to the contrary contained in my prior post...).

My Little Monkeys

It's sad...the older they get the fewer milestones there are to celebrate it seems :(  This week however, there was a reason to haul out video camera and catch a first!  The fellas finally figured out how to climb our maple tree with no assistance. 

Well, NO assistance might be a little misleading.  Initially, they figured out how to give each other just enough of a boost to make it onto that first branch.  24 hours later, they figured how to climb up completely solo and are literally begging to do so morning, noon and night. 

Morning: We had a two hour delay one day this week and they chose to forego riding the bus so they could hang out in the tree.

Noon:  It's the first thing they want to do when they get home after school.

Night:  Oh my...we have a problem Houston. 

A happy little AJ reported to me nonchalantly this morning that he climbed the tree in the middle of the night and watched the cars and counted stars.  Jim was convinced it was a dream and that he was just sitting in his window sill watching the stars, which was what Jim witnessed him doing at 6:30am when he checked on him. 

Doubting Mom...not so convinced it was that harmless.  So, I checked the front door - yep - unlocked and backpacks that should have been sitting in front were moved to the side.  Shoes that were in the closet when I went to bed were kicked in the hallway.  Oh - and Alex showed me the dirt on his hand from when he jumped down from the tree.  Busted.  Well, since he so cheerfully self-reported, perhaps 'busted' isn't the right word?  Confirmed?

He's so stinkin' cute and naive and infuriating all at once that little guy!  Once he hyperfocuses on something, it's all consuming of his thoughts and generally makes him SO happy :)  So let's break this down.  Watching cars, counting stars...peaceful and quiet and harmless.  Climbing a tree with adult supervision using only low, thick branches...great sensory input for the little dude.  Leaving the house at night to climb a tree unattended...safety violation buddy! 

Had a long chat about that one.  He's never tried to leave the house at night, but I know that is a problem for some parents of kids on the autism spectrum.  If he does it again, I'm jumping straight to an alarm system.  Scares me to death! 

And here I thought that sneaking out at night would be a teenage problem!  Nope...a 3rd grade monkey is just as sneaky it turns out :)

Major Milestones!

The first weekend of summer - no more training wheels! 
The second week of summer - we learned how to play H-O-R-S-E
The third week of summer - Tanner learns to tie his shoes!
The fourth week of summer - Alex learns to tie his shoes!

And I thought these tasks were going to take us months.  What to tackle next?  :)

Chivalry is Still Alive

Tanner and I were playing checkers last night. The checkers game has suggestions for alternate versions that can be played. Tanner was reading through them to find a new twist and settled on one. He started to read the directions, which stated:

Corner Checkers
Place nine checkers of each color on the board as shown. Follow standard checkers rules except for these two exceptions: men may move and jump sideways and a king may only be crowned in the...

Then he said, 'Oh wait Mom. We can't play this game. It's really unfair. Only the men can move their pieces sideways. That wouldn't be fair to you."

Ahh. So sweet that I didn't even bother correcting him and just thanked him for being so thoughtful. Too cute. (I'll re-read the directions with him today and fix the literal interpretation).

So we picked an alternate checkers game and I said, "Ok buddy, you can go first.". To which he responded, "Oh no, Mom. Ladies first...always."

Always an Excuse...

So this morning Tanner was really struggling to get moving. In his defense, we had a 7:30am dentist appointment so I had to wake him up early.

Whenever it's just the boys and I driving, the radio is typically off and we have little chats. The conversations are hysterical and I wish I recorded each and every one because I'm really going to miss our morning drive-n-chat 10 years from now. Anyhow...

So on the way to the dentist this morning I was telling them that we needed to move a little faster in the morning and follow direction the FIRST time. Tanner responded in a pleading voice, "Mom, you wanted me to do all these things but I was spending all my time just praying to God that he wouldn't make any more mosquitos. I was praying - like - all morning - because my mosquito bit was so itchy!"

Now how do I respond to that excuse?

Field Day and Jaundice

Nice title, eh? So for Field Day at school each grade wears a designated color. For 2nd grade this year it's orange.

I don't like yellow or orange on the boys. I had a lot of yellow baby clothes and when they were jaundice in NICU the yellow clothes made them look so unhealthy. I've avoided yellow and orange fairly effectively through all these years because I just can't get that NICU picture out of my head. This is going to make dressing for Field Day interesting! Yuck...jaundice looking 2nd graders in the Wooden household tomorrow. Blech.

First Casualty of the Summer...

So, it's only May and we've lost a pair of flip-flops already (thank you Tanner). We've managed to ruin a swim shirt too (Alex). Oh - and a pair of sunglasses (I have no idea who to blame). Totally ridiculous. At what age do kids learn to be responsible for their own belongings? I'm not the best role model because I misplace things all the time...but was hoping the more sensible genes of their father would show through on this front!

Young Republican

Tanner had to do a research project on a President of his choice. So, he chose George H.W. Bush. Why I wonder? Wouldn't have been my first choice as a kid, or an adult for that matter. He did the homework with Dad while I was shopping for summer clothes for the growing boys, so I'll have to ask in the morning.

Nonetheless, he picked a Republican so he gets five stars for that. Oh wait - we're in West Michigan - Forest Hills text books likely skip over any references to the Democrats. An appropriate choice might have been rigged :)

Nothing like a West Michigan, conservative, Republican upbringing :)

Let the Camping Season Begin!

24 hours from now my buddies will be chowing down smores around a campfire and reading Garfield comic books by flashlight in sleeping bags. Sweet.

I'm Finally a Soccer Mom!

The boys have wanted to play soccer for quite some time. They happily report the results of their friends soccer games after each weekend, and I've always felt conflicted that I haven't let them join a team. I'm really just not sure that they could handle organized team sports. We previously tried basketball and it was really difficult for everyone involved. Individual sports worked well for a while (swimming, gymnastics), but have grown increasingly difficult over time. As the boys get older, the coaches expect more out of them in terms of listening, following direction, independent practice, and more complicated routines/plays. For Alex, nearly all of the above are difficult - any day of the week, any time of day. When he was younger, I would be side-by-side with him in sports classes as his personal coach at the pool, on the basketball court, and on the mats. As he gets older, it's become much more difficult/awkward as the demands of the players are more intense - to the point we had opted out of all sports. For Tanner, he's more manageable but still requires a lot of re-direction. The bigger problem for Tanner is that practices are often in the evenings after his meds are wearing off so he's harder to keep focused and is either really sleepy or really silly.

I heard rumblings through the Special Ed grapevine about something called VIP Soccer. I knew very little, except that it was a soccer team for kids with special needs. I'd been trying to track down contact information for about 6 months and was THRILLED when I finally made contact with the coach this week! She immediately emailed me back saying we were welcome to join in mid-season and that they were welcoming of kids with all levels of ability.

So, at 11am on Saturday we reported to the soccer fields with two very excited little boys. What an incredible program and experience we had! It's a very loose program, which is great for my guys who struggle in the face of too much structure. From 11am - 12pm kids gather at the soccer field where several coaches and older soccer 'buddies' are incredibly welcoming and engaging to whatever kids show up. There were bags of balls and 2 whole fields for the kids to run and play. Parents were all out on the field with their kids...playing goalie, retrieving balls, encouraging kids with physical struggles to make it all the way down the field, and laughing with all kids - whether their own or not. There were kids with varied special needs and it was so nice not to have to worry that the boys weren't doing what they were supposed to. No rules, except to be kind and a good teammate. They bounced back and forth between fields...kicking goals, playing goalie, dribbling the ball down field, making new friends and laughing hysterically much of the time. Alex was affectionately nicknamed 'Giggles' by one of the coaches, which was incredibly appropriate because he must have giggled for 45 minutes straight he was so happy and excited!

I've coached several teams and played team sports (high school, college, intramural, recreation) for nearly 25 years and I have NEVER participated in such an inspiring sporting event. I've never experienced such selfless instructors/buddies and have never felt such an overwhelming sense of pride watching the players on the field (and not only for my kids). I continue to learn more from my own kids and the people who work with them than I'll ever be able to teach in return. I always knew that would be the case in the classroom or therapy environment, but have always considered the field of sports my area of expertise. I stand corrected - in total amazement and with great gratitude for this exceptional program.

I'm finally a soccer mom.

Mother's Day Chat

Alex has a classmate whose family is adopting 2 children from Ethiopia. The class is collecting new or gently used shoes to donate to the orphanage. So, tonight I pulled out a globe and tried to explain it all. I started by talking about the terms orphan and orphanage...what kids at an orphanage may need....what it means to adopt...where is Ethiopia...etc. I told them about how special it would be for the kids to have shoes to play soccer, run in, etc. Then we bagged up a few gently used pairs from the basement.

Here's the boys reaction...I'm guessing most readers can pick out who is who:

Wooden Boy #1 (while focused mostly on a book he's just grabbed and mildly annoyed with the lecture/conversation) : Do they need a soccer ball? That would be much more cooler than these old shoes. And anyway, all this talk about orphigs is making me hungry for a treat. Can we go to Sundaes At The Cottage for ice cream now?

Sigh. Strike 1 for Mom. No deep conversation or visible understanding of the concept it seems. A little too self-absorbed right now to grasp it I'm afraid.

Wooden Boy #2: Mom, it sounds like they need a family, not shoes. Can we just bring one or two home, please? By the way, do they have food? I think food would be more important than shoes. Do you think they celebrate Mother's Day if they don't have a Mom?

Ahh. Success. This one gets it and mind is moving a mile a minute. So much so that my big hearted little man was still wide awake at 9:45pm in his bed tonight and when I asked him what he was thinking about, he responded "Finding some way to go to Ethiopia and help those kids."

Perfect end to Mother's Day. I'll get through to #1 too...it'll just take another fly-by or two. A crash and burn on the first pass never gets me down :)

Shaggy Boys...Cringing Mom

The boys have not had a haircut in a over 2 months now. Up until this point, I had their haircut ~every 5 weeks. They have been BEGGING to grow it out the past couple months and since I was taking a trial run at relinquishing a little control I tried to play along. They think longer hair would be really cool. However, I'm absolutely cringing watching their hair touch the top of their ears. I don't think I can take it any more!

So, like any creative and determined Mom, I noodled this evening attempting to find some way of convincing them it was time for a haircut. I called Tanner into my room and started putting little pigtails in his hair and oohing and ahhing about how I can do his hair now. I told he and Alex that it's like having the little girls I always wanted and never had! That did the trick. Neither wants girl hair and both quickly agreed to a haircut tomorrow :)

Manipulation complete...Mom gets her way this time. Not sure that it will be so easy 5 years from now though!

Warning - This Post Contains Romance and Violence

So the boys were watching a show downstairs this morning while I took a shower. I called them upstairs for meds and Tanner announces in a tattle-tale fashion mixed with a voice of grave concern:

Tanner: "Mom, our show this morning contained both romance and violence."
Mom: "Really? What show were you watching?"
Tanner: "Good Luck Charlie." (he says looking at his feet and shaking his head)

(Note: This show a Disney Channel family sitcom. It's harmless.)

Mom: (perplexed, but in a hurry) "Ok - well next time you should change the show if you see something like that."

30 minutes later we're in the car and I have time to further explore the noted romance and violence issue.

Mom: "So Tanner, what is romance anyway. I've never heard you use that word before."
Tanner: "It's when people kiss. BJ got a girlfriend and they kissed."

(smiling to myself that 1. Tanner knows what that word means and 2. That his morning show was far from the R-rated proclamation I received earlier).

Mom: "I see. So what does violence mean?"
Tanner: "It's when people can't use their words to express their feelings and hurt someone instead. Someone got punched and got a black eye and that was violent."

Score #2 for Tanner. Excellent definition! Once again, Mom is relieved that they hadn't somehow stumbled on a 7:30am showing of Rambo or the Sopranos :) But man, that Disney sure needs to clean up their act, eh :)

I Love October

Random...I know...just going through pics and found some great ones in October.

Art Prize unforgettable moments...Alex pondering, Tanner sleeping




Fall harvest...last from garden...and stuck in apple crate jail :)




Tree monkeys...

Romeo

Tanner yelled across the pool on Sunday, "Mom, I just saw the prettiest girl in the whole world. I think I'm in love!"

Then he swims over with a big grin on his face and says again, "Seriously Mom, I think I'm in love."

Good grief. Not exactly sure how to tackle the whole 'love' vs 'lust' conversation with my 8 year old brainiac...dictionary maybe? :)

He Cracks Me Up...

Alex's new favorite saying is...

"If I had a nickel for every time you told me "

It's so stinkin' funny because he says it at the most appropriate times! He was doing his last homework page tonight and I said,

"Ok Alex, you need to do neat handwriting. I want to see your personal best!"

He promptly stated in his sweet sing-song voice, "If I had a nickel for every time someone told me to do good handwriting!". Sorry buddy...at least the expectation is consistent!

Tricky, Tricky...

The boys (particularly Alex)

1. Do not like to mix foods

2. Are aversive to strong flavors

3. Despise sauces of any kind

We've worked really hard over the years to push the limits on these fronts, but with very little luck. These kids will eat almost anything - so long that it is raw, unspiced and unsauced. They will eat every vegetable and fruit imaginable (brussel sprouts are a recent favorite). Plain pasta - no butter no sauce - love it! Plain cereal - fine. They are big time milk drinkers. It's basically a relatively healthy diet. You just can't mix liquids and solids or there is a complete uprising.

Then, there are the visual issues. No grill marks. No crunchy parts. No browning from sauteeing. All food must look to be in its usual, natural form or (Alex in particular) will pick away all imperfections before eating.

So, I've been thinking long and hard on ways to circumvent the aversions. I'm rather proud of myself for this tricky move! Last night we took them to Mongolian Grill for dinner. Here was my thought process:

1. They get to choose their favorite meat, veggies and fruit from a buffet and fill a bowl.

2. They get to choose a sauce. Must have one...but they get to choose at least.

3. They get to choose their spices (I let Alex off the hook on this one though).

4. They get to watch the cooks grilling their chosen foods with tool tossing antics and all (very entertaining).

5. They get their choice of plain, totally harmless tortilla or rice to go with their creation.

The moment of truth was when we sat down with the very dark/grilled food, flavorfully sauced, all mixed together. There was lots of reminders from Mom that "You picked this food! It was all your favorites! Don't you think it will be great? Those cooks were AWESOME!". Magic. They ate it. A few faces, a little rummaging around the brownest pieces, never more than one type of food on Alex's fork and lots of drinks to wash it down, but they ate it! Total success. Repeat visits are in order. I consider it sensory therapy...perhaps the restaurant bill should thus qualify as a medical expense? There were a couple self-medicating beers on the tab for Jim and I in the event of complete failure. It all sounds FSA eligible, right? :)

Skater Dudes!

Birthday presents from Grandma & Grandpa = SKATEBOARDS!! It's raining today, but the skater dudes are practicing their new craft in the garage and thinking they are pretty freakin' cool. Anyone care to place a bet regarding who has the first broken bone? My money would be on Tanner...Alex has incredibly good balance (as was witnessed with Lake Michigan surfing last summer in North Muskegon).

We Love Board Games!

We play some type of board game or card game nearly every night. Tanner usually initiates it, and becomes pretty upset if bedtime comes and we haven't gotten a game in yet. While we have a large collection to choose from, the current favs are Apples to Apples, Sorry Sliders and 'Smath.

'Smath is Scrabble...but all numbers/symbols that you use to make equations rather than letters/words. For my number lovers, it rocks! Tanner announced tonight that it was the best game ever. Yes, only my kids would think that creating formulas was recreation at 8pm. :)

You See...I See

You see a little guy playing with Legos...

I see an intent face...eyebrows furled...tongue hanging out...a little guy concentrating so hard to coordinate all these fine motor movements. Alex just in the past 6 mos started having the attention span, hand strength and dexterity to play independently & at length with Legos. Simple milestone for some...incredible sense of pride and accomplishment here!

You see two happy, silly brothers...

I see two tired, frustrated parents because these yahoos wouldn't pose nicely for a Christmas Card picture!!! 41 shots later, I found one where they looked reasonably angelic :)

You see 2 skinny, rib-popping Wooden boys...

I see progress! Fall physical reports Tanner at 44th percentile BMI and Alex at 27th percentile...both up from less than 5th percentile in their first year of life! Hooray for force feeding and overcoming sensory aversions :)

You see a proud Alex having a sucker on top of his fantastic pillow pit that he and Tanner built one winter evening (includes every pillow and blanket from our entire house...including all beds). I love Alex's sign). He likes to X out things that he doesn't like or are not true. In this case, the pit was complete so he wrote Coming Soon and crossed it out. Silly kid.

I see Tanner sleeping deep inside the same pillow pit under Alex. All that sensory input relaxes him right to sleep :) Jim carried him to bed that night...sound asleep.

The 'You See...I See' Series

It's picture time. So much text lately...too few pictures. I finally broke down and bought Adobe Photoshop so posts over the next week will be in picture...random shots taken over the past year or two. The post will be titled 'You See...I See' and it will grow as the week goes on so scroll down when you check back in. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I'll try to share my insight in substantially less...at least for next week. :)

The Great Car Hunt

Alex absolutely ADORED his first grade teacher, Mrs. Grendel (or phonetically in Alex voice "Mrs. Gwendale"). Somewhere toward mid- November we started to hear less and less about Holly, in fact I sadly hadn't heard her name in a couple months...until today...

We're walking through the Costco parking lot and Alex randomly announces excitedly, "I finally found it Mom! I finally found it! I finally found Mrs. Gwendale's car!"

Hmm...yeah...this was going to be another head scratcher...one of those random remarks with no context until I start prying:

Mom: Alex, where is Mrs. Grendel?

Alex: It's Mrs. Gwendale's CAR!

Mom: Where?

Alex: It's right there!

(I finally get him to point to some sort of white empty mid-size car.)

Mom: Why do you think that is Mrs. Grendel's car buddy?

Alex: Because it has an 'S' on it. I've been looking all over for that!

Ahhh yes. Mrs. Grendel is a BIG Michigan State fan. Alex proudly proclaims to be a State fan also after 1st grade indoctrination from his favorite teacher. I'm sure that Holly is the only State fan in West Michigan to show her school pride on her car, so clearly Alex must be right and this big mystery of his is certainly solved! ;) What a relief!

Now...I just wonder if she really has an 'S' on her car and Alex somehow knows that...or if simply all things State link back to Mrs. Grendel? I'll never be able to get a clear answer from Alex...I'll have to ask her next time we run into her :)

Canned Response

Strangers often ask the boys (usually after noting these are chatty little guys) - "Are you twins?" Tanner's canned response very matter-of-fact is always, "Yes. I'm taller but he's older by one minute." Phew...age vs. height allows us to keep the score tied! So glad Dr B didn't pull Tanner out first or Alex's ego would be so bruised to be both younger and shorter! :)

What was cool in the 80s...should stay in the 80s

Tanner is pretty proud lately of his breakdancing skills. Yes - I said breakdancing. He's thrashing around on the floor...spinning...sporting a full-blown centipede move. With a snazzy Kidz Bops Dance CD in the background he's thinking he's pretty hot stuff!

He busted out with an appropriately stated "Gag me with a spoon" a few nights ago and I absolutely lost it! Love the use of an unprompted idiom I guess...but seriously?

Listen fellow parents (or teachers?) - the 80s were generally speaking a once in a lifetime decade that need not be lived again through our children. Don't you think? :) 80s rock is the clear exception to this rule, of course!

Yet someone out there is leaking snip-its from the 80s vault to their kids...then on to my kids...and I'm not sure if I should laugh or be embarrassed at the memory of it all or cry? Given the blog title...laugh it will be I guess :)

I'm half expecting an excited request from Tanner for parachute pants or a mullet by the weekend at this rate. What else should I be bracing myself for from a 7 year old boy who seems to be time-warping back to the days of legwarmers and friendship pins and AquaNet by the gallon? I remember much of the girly stuff, but boy stuff I'm at a loss on.

See-wee-ous-wee

"See - wee - ous -wee" in Alex speak equals "seriously". It's a favorite word as of late, used appropriately and in a very serious tone of voice. Yet, when he says it, I can't help but to smile. :) Poor guy - his adjective has the exact opposite impact of it's meaning so I try really hard not let him catch my grin. I could probably coax out a more appropriate 'ly' ending...but that middle 'r' sound I'm afraid is doomed for a while. It's one of those things I'll probably never be able to catch on video...but it's at least permanently recorded in the blog :)

Hello Fractions!

Alex is clearly thinking in fractions lately. Tanner said something about being 7 3/4 years old. Alex quickly corrected him stating he is 7 11/12 years old. (Just wait...I bet he'll move to fractions by /365 very soon as the countdown to their birthday is on!)

At dinner, as he squirmed and complained, he gave blow-by-blow progress in eating his salmon patty by fractions ("I think I've eaten one quarter. Moments later..."If I eat this bite and this bite it will be one third" And so on throughout the painful process).

So my numbers boy has found a fresh look at his world through fractions. Cute.

Mom Can Do No Wrong

Same car ride home tonight...Tanner now randomly responds to Alex's walk down memory lane.

Tanner: Well, Alex, I remember a time when I was 5 years old and I fell out of a golf cart and hit my head!

Mom: Do you remember who was driving that golf cart?

Tanner: DADDY!

I start laughing hysterically. Jim has taken them golfing many times since they were about 4 years old I think. Each time Jim took them I would threaten Jim within an inch of his life that if he ever let one of them fall out of the cart. But here's the funny part - I've gone only twice - and the second time it was ME who dumped Tanner out of the cart when making a sharp turn to pick up a ball! Of course, Mom can do no wrong though :)

Dad: That is so not true. It was your Mom!

Tanner: Silly Daddy. It was you. I totally remember it. Mom didn't do that.

Mom: (laughing hysterically)

Dad: Amy - tell the truth - you need to set the record straight.

Mom: I have no idea what you mean. (still laughing...now with tears)

Tanner: Yeah - Dad. Mom didn't do that.

Dad: Amy - set the record straight or you can walk home.

Tanner: Mom isn't walking home Dad and you did it!

Then I fessed up. And the whole thing instantly became a non-issue because...Mom can do no wrong :) The joys of motherhood!

Random Remarks

Oh if I could get in that little boys head! So, we're driving home from dinner at Uccello's tonight and Alex announces, "Tanner, remember that time when I told you that I drank a cows pee?".

I spin around thinking WHAT THE...????

Fortunately, Jim was there to translate. He had a field trip at school to a dairy farm and he had a squirt of milk from a cow's udder...and Jim was a chaperone :) Mystery solved...this time. But seriously - if I had a transcript of Alex's day, there would be numerous such random remarks that are so bizarre when made without context. I can tell you this...his little brain moves nonstop...24/7...and we hear only a fraction of what he thinks.

As for Tanner, not much left to the imagination with Mr. Articulate I'm afraid :)

Surround Sound

Each night between 11:45pm and 12:15am, you can get a chuckle out of dualing sleep talkers in the Wooden household. Both boys talk in their sleep on and off throughout the night, but religiously, they both get really chatty about this time. They put forth a strong #3 voice and let you know just what they are thinking about. Most commonly, Tanner is have a very rationale conversation with someone about something while Alex's comments are usually a little more energized. Tonight I've already heard 'Oh drat' and 'C'mon Mom'. Wonder what he's thinking about? :)

Sometimes...if I'm getting tired ~11:30pm I'll stay up just a little longer to listen to the fireworks. If you sit on the stairs, it's like surround sound with Tanner's babbling coming from below and Alex's from above.

Why am I typing this? I should get out a video camera for audio!!!

Off the Reading List

Alex called his gym teacher a jerk today - repeatedly. Completely appalled, I asked him where he learned that word. His response, "It's from Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Gregory says it to Roderick". And here I expected he learned it from a friend or from TV. But no - he learned it from a book.

So - the entire Diary of a Wimpy Kid series is now banned in the Wooden house. I have some not-so-happy campers.

P.S. - They couldn't have gym today as usually scheduled because the 3rd graders were practicing for their musical. If you're wondering what set him off...it was a schedule change...of course :( Nonetheless, the dude is wii-less, DS-less, computer-less, treat-less, nightime reading-less, morning bus privilege-less until Thursday...assuming he makes better choices Tues/Wed. It's so not fair that consequences for kids have to bring dread upon the parents as well!!!!

My Trooper (and no - not the dog)

Alex is the BEST kid ever when he is sick. He'll lie low and look awful, but insist that he is 'just fine'. Since this post is about Alex, I won't detail Tanner's other extreme in dealing with sickness...but let's just say that Alex has favored son status hands down in this arena :)

If Alex announces that he is sick...actually admits it...something is really wrong. If he cries, I'm ready to drop everything and run him to the doctor or hospital because it's SO out of character.

Last night he left the dinner table supposedly to go to the bathroom, but Jim found him in our bed. Not a good sign, but again, Alex won't ever admit if he's sick. There is a carnival at his school today, so he repeatedly stated last night totally unprompted, "I'm fine to go the carnival". Total denial. When it was time to take a bubble bath (which he LOVES), Jim found him curled up with a blanket on the hard wood floors in his bedroom. Again - not a good sign.

At midnight he was bawling and grabbing my neck for dear life. Every time he swallowed his body literally shook and he was burning up with a fever. And he admitted he was sick. Crap. That meant it was bad. Tested positive for strep this AM at urgent care within 30 seconds, and probably had it for days. His tonsils look so bad they wrote 3 prescriptions including prednisone. If only he would tell me when he was sick! What family member does he get all this denial from? Grandpa Jim maybe?

Of course I hate it when he's sick, but I love our little tradition of eating the blues away. If he's up in the middle of the night not feeling well, we find something really special to eat together at the kitchen island. One Thanksgiving, he and I polished off left over pumpkin pie at 4am and he talked about it for weeks. Last night, we tore into donuts I'd bought for Saturday AM. He choked down only about 1/4 of one doughnut. Broke my heart. This is one sick little boy. The only thing that's going to help this little guy feel better is snuggle time with Mom and his blankie. However...I think a mid-morning doughnut will make ME feel better...so off I go :)

Checkers

Played my first full game of checkers tonight with Tanner, and then a full game against Alex. It was so fun to see their little minds working so fast. I beat them both...but give it a few more rounds...I'm going to be in trouble I have a feeling. Tanner is especially good.

At 35, I've never played chess. I have a feeling I'm going to have to learn that next and be ready not to rule the board potentially :)

"Mom, we've learned our lesson!"

Yes...this is the desperate rationalization being provided by Tanner. The inseparable buddies want to share a bedroom again. Totally unprompted, they recall why they were split up and promised they have learned their lesson (they kept waking each other up early/staying up late!)

It wasn't just the sleeping issues...the two just lacked any sense of personal space. They shared all their clothes, dresser drawers, toothbrushes if I didn't hawk them - even now they don't blink at the idea of crossing streams in the bathroom! You'd think they'd like to have a little personal space or individual identify for heavens sake!

To cave or not to cave...that is the question...and Jim's opinions are not welcome on this topic...only family/friends! Daddy likes his sleep too much to for unbiased decision making :)

Football Fans

So we just left Uccello's Sports Bar & Grill where we enjoyed a pre-Super Bowl lunch with the Trents. I married a man that I loved dearly - but had absolutely no love of sports - let alone a slight inclination toward being jock when I met him. I always imagined I'd marry someone with my competitive drive and love of /participation in sports...but I guess it was that whole 'opposites attract' thing in motion when we met.

Now, our offspring I'm proud to say share Mom's love of sports. I'm not sure if they'll have athletic talent (might inherit Dad's side of the gene pool in that regard), but they at least LOVE sports! They have favorite teams and favorite players. They recognize most sports jerseys when out in public and are none to shy about approaching a fellow sports fan with a high five.

Case in point - Alex gave multiple random and excited high fives to a woman wearing a Spartan sweatshirt today at Uccello's (she was such an enthusiastic fellow fan and seemed to get a kick out of Alex's fascination with their newly found common love). When the cheese-heads starting pouring into Uccello's, there were plenty of cheers from Mr. AJ as well!

The funniest moment however was as we were leaving. Passing the large oval/island bar, there was a man sitting by himself with a navy football jersey labeled 'Brady'. Alex runs up asking, "Are you Tom Brady from the Patriots?". Without even waiting for the man to respond, Alex shouts "Mom- it's Tom Brady!". Jim was bringing up the tail with a smile on his face, and Mr. Brady responds to Jim, "Well, I wish I was Tom Brady!".

So, Mr. Chatty (that would be Alex) chats all the way out to the car about all the sports fans at Uccello's that were his friends and how exciting it was to meet Tom Brady. There was nothing I could say to convince him otherwise.

Now - if I only I could bring him out of his shell and make him comfortable talking to strangers. He doesn't take after me at all on that front :)

Oh AJ...

So the Wooden boys (including the 34 year old Wooden boy) have all been fighting a nasty cold for 10 days or so. Thankfully, they all feel better but still sound awful!! Somehow, I managed to escape this one it seems (famous last words?).

Mr. AJ is the best sick kiddo (or adult) ever. He rarely complains. He'll look miserable and sound miserable, but generally lays low and quiet (complete opposite of Tanner...but we'll save that for another post). The poor guy has had probably had 15 or so ear infections in his life, usually after a long cold so I'm always on the look-out for the tell-tale ear pulling.

The tugs started on Thursday at dinner. Upon noticing, the conversation went something like this:

Mom: Alex, you are pulling on your ear. Does it hurt?
Alex: No Mom, it's just fine.

Most parents would stop here, but if you know Alex, you'll understand sometimes his responses are really meant to allow him to disengage from conversation and go back to his own little world. So, I rarely take his first answers as final. I waited 60 seconds:

Mom: Alex - which ear hurts?
Alex: This one (tugging at the same ear)!
Mom: I thought you said it didn't hurt?
Alex: It doesn't.

I could tell this was going to be one of those Alex conversations where we go round and round and get nowhere. So, I repeated the same course of questoining above 2 more times with time in between with the same contradictory answers.

This morning, Alex was tugging on the same ear again.

Mom: Alex - do your ears hurt?
Alex: No Mom, they are just fine.
Mom: But which one hurts?
Alex: This one (tugging on the same ear).

So now after 48 hours of the same back and forth, I took him to the doctor today to have them checked.

Nurse: Alex, what's wrong today?
Alex: Nothing. There is nothing wrong with my ears.
Nurse: (looking at me like I'm a crazy overprotective mom) So, what makes you think he might have an ear infection?
Mom: He keeps pulling on it, has a history of them, and sometimes struggles to communicate clearly.

Now, "clearly" is an understatement! The kid is worse than a politician talking out both sides of his mouth!!!

Thankfully, the doctor comes in and before she even looks at his ears says, 'I'm glad you came. That's what we are here for. It's very common for kids on the spectrum not to be able to clearly communicate how they are feeling.' She gets it.

So - no ear infection. But a very nice doctor at least made sure I wasn't going to feel like a fool. As for AJ...what can I say...he's just so sweet and innocent I can't really get frustrated. I just shake my head and smile :)

Maybe not so alike...

Reactions to the second snow day this week (meaning the kiddos have gone to school only 1 out of the last 8 days due to other planned days off school and a sick day).

Mom: What do we think guys? Another snow day!
Monster #1: (with fist up on in the air) Woo hooooo!
Monster #2: Mom, it's a blizzard day. It's not a snow day. And they better let me go to school this weekend instead.
Monster #1: (silence...just a looking at me frightfully for a response confirming he wouldn't be required to go to school on the weekend).
Mom: No way dude. No school on the weekend.
Monster #1: (with fist up in the air again) YYEEEESSSSSSS!
Monster #2: Then somebody better let me see my friends. And if I have another blizzard day tomorrow I'm going to be SO mad! This is so not fair!

I'm sure you can guess who is who...if you know these boys well at all :)

And So It Begins...

(Tanner and I are laying on his bed on our tummies...looking at his yearbook from last year...he's giving me the run down of which class all the kids ended up in this year)

Tanner: So this is my friend Logan. He is Luke's BFF.
Mom: What does BFF mean?
Tanner: It's like...best friends forever...you know.
Mom: Ok - got it.
Tanner: And this is (blank). She is evil.
Mom: Why is she evil?
Tanner: Well, that's what her brother says anyway. I don't really know why.
Mom: Well, sometimes brothers and sisters don't get along. It doesn't mean she is evil.
Tanner: Mom - let's not fight about it, ok? It's just what we like to call her.
Mom: Ok - got it.
Tanner: And this is XXX. She is totally cute.
Mom: (quizical look...thinking to myself...did I just hear that right?)
Tanner: And this is...
Mom: Hold up. Back up to XXX. You think she is cute?
Tanner: Well Mom, did you look at her?
Mom: (smiling)
Tanner: Isn't she totally cute?
Mom: I guess so. Why do you think she is cute?
Tanner: Did you see her big eyes?
Mom: Yes, she does have very pretty eyes. Why else do you think she is cute?
Tanner: I like her kind of hair.
Mom: And what kind of hair is that?
Tanner: You know...like light color. Doesn't she just look happy?
Mom: Yes, she looks happy.
Tanner: She's just little and adorable. Ok - now - this is Max...
(several minutes later as I get up to leave)
Tanner: Thanks for snuggling with me Mom. I love you.
Mom: I love you too buddy.

And so...I think I just had my first conversation with my little dude about a girl. "Totally cute"...to use his words :) For now, I'm happy to remain his #1 girl...but clearly he has a wandering eye now. It's only a matter of time .

There's Nothing Better...

I just extracted myself from a snuggle nap with the dudes. We all piled in Mom's bed on Friday afternoon to read books and all nodded off...covered in favorite blankies. I woke up to sweaty and not-so-little snugglebugs snoozing on each side of me. Perfect start to the weekend. :)

I feel so bad for all the parent out there that have kids that gave up naps at a young age. My nearly-approaching-eight year olds still love the afternoon zzzzzzs. And me too!

Every January

Alex came running off the bus last week announcing excitedly, "Ashley, I met Dr. Martin Luther King!". Ashley is such a good sport. She stands among the other parents trying to figure out how to contain Alex's excitement. When he makes it off the bus she asks him to explain, and he points to his substitute bus driver (African American) and announced, "Look - right there - our substitute bus driver is Dr. Martin Luther King!".

Thumbs up to Pine Ridge Elementary for the history lesson! Now, it's my turn to get into Alex's head and more appropriately generalize what he has learned (something that many kids on the autism spectrum struggle with). So...I've had my annual diversity training this week from my children who eagerly embrace the story of Dr. King each January. I've done my best to generalize it to the world we live in today. BUT...a new twist from Tanner offered very matter-of-factly, "Well Mom, since you are a girl, you know you should probably be pretty thankful for Susan B Anthony, because without her you wouldn't be able to drive a car."

What the...? Where did that one come from? Crap. MLK Day lessons I totally get and can keep up with, but I don't know a thing about Susan B Anthony. Yes - gasp, shake your head, be appalled and dumbfounded. Listen - I hate history. I got a D in History in 4th grade and it soured me for life. I just tune it all out. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't like things I'm not good at (hello - golf!). I'd better leave this blog post and start surfing the web for a Susan B Anthony bio. I might hate history...but I hate being outsmarted by a 2nd grader even more!

Hello Blogging World!

It's been such a long time and I've missed you! Nearly every week something hysterical happens that I think to myself (or sometimes say to Jim) - "I HAVE to put this one out on the blog!". Frankly, it's just plain embarrassing to make this first post after nearly a year hiatus. Yikes! I think the whole idea of posting pictures with every post had me a little hesitant to start up again...but to heck with it...I'll just post without pictures mostly. I just need some way of capturing/documenting all the little morsels of humor these buddies infuse into our everyday life.

And so...on to Volume 2 of 'Another Day, Another Laugh...'